What does it mean about me that I cried unhappy tears?
I am tetatively placed in Pre-K, about 5 hours from my ideal area. I can deal with the place, but I don’t know if I can deal with the grade. I wanted to teach high school or jr. high so badly when I applied, but I ended up with elementary. I have since made peace with elementary, and I was getting really excited.
I don’t think I have the grit for it. I know it is a challenge, just not the kind I wanted. I didn’t think of myself as a pre-reading, social, and general school skills kind of a teacher. Also, Pre-K teachers are often paid less (says TFA), and as of right now, it looks like only another TFA male is placed near me, meaning I will have to afford my own place and a different car. I was planning on keeping my aging truck for at least a semester, but I don’t think it will make it that far.
I know its wrong of me not to be super happy just to have a job, never mind to be a TFA teacher. I know pre-K kids need good teachers more than maybe any other age.
But…. I couldn’t help bursting into tears.